Show me someone who doesn't love bacon, and I'll show you an un-American liar. Get real, you denial-ridden fools. Bacon was made by God Himself when he created man. In fact, I have a theory that bacon was the original Fruit From The Tree of Knowledge. Because of mankind's original sin, bacon will never grow on tress again. Let us all take a moment to mourn this fact while we put on our funny bacon t-shirts in memory of a better time.
Please be honest here, my dear readers. Even if you're a staunch hater of meat and animal by-products, you have to admit that bacon is one of the hardest temptations around for people who don't eat meat. It's almost like the Dark Side. It's corrupting and delicious and powerful. Hunger leads to anger, anger leads to impulse, impulse leads to the Bacon Side.
You know that feeling that you get when you wake up, rub the sleep from your eyes, and then get that first smell of cooking bacon. It is pure excitement that floods your veins as you jump up and hustle into the kitchen. Someone has to slap your hand away because you start eating bacon immediately without any thought for anyone else. Despite being forced to wait, you still feel that surge of expectant joy.
We all work hard to make our money and we expect to be able to enjoy ourselves when we punch the clock and go home. Some people like to have a nice, cool beer. Some people like to lean back on the couch and watch some television or play video games. As for myself, I like a nice pile of crispy bacon waiting for me. That's all I need to make me feel like I've gotten my just reward for a hard day's work.
There are as many causes out there as there are bacon recipes. The rainforest needs saving and indigenous tribes need to be saved. The environment is in trouble, right? We have to get behind that. Cancer still hasn't been curing, so we need to run a 5K race for that next week. Where are all the support groups for bacon fanatics? The Internet is the only safe place we can go. Not anymore, it isn't, because we can now buy our bacon t-shirts, wear them proudly, and find others like us out there in the real world. One day they will say the bacon empire of tomorrow was build on the backs of people wearing bacon t-shirts.
Please be honest here, my dear readers. Even if you're a staunch hater of meat and animal by-products, you have to admit that bacon is one of the hardest temptations around for people who don't eat meat. It's almost like the Dark Side. It's corrupting and delicious and powerful. Hunger leads to anger, anger leads to impulse, impulse leads to the Bacon Side.
You know that feeling that you get when you wake up, rub the sleep from your eyes, and then get that first smell of cooking bacon. It is pure excitement that floods your veins as you jump up and hustle into the kitchen. Someone has to slap your hand away because you start eating bacon immediately without any thought for anyone else. Despite being forced to wait, you still feel that surge of expectant joy.
We all work hard to make our money and we expect to be able to enjoy ourselves when we punch the clock and go home. Some people like to have a nice, cool beer. Some people like to lean back on the couch and watch some television or play video games. As for myself, I like a nice pile of crispy bacon waiting for me. That's all I need to make me feel like I've gotten my just reward for a hard day's work.
There are as many causes out there as there are bacon recipes. The rainforest needs saving and indigenous tribes need to be saved. The environment is in trouble, right? We have to get behind that. Cancer still hasn't been curing, so we need to run a 5K race for that next week. Where are all the support groups for bacon fanatics? The Internet is the only safe place we can go. Not anymore, it isn't, because we can now buy our bacon t-shirts, wear them proudly, and find others like us out there in the real world. One day they will say the bacon empire of tomorrow was build on the backs of people wearing bacon t-shirts.
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For more information about funny bacon t-shirts check out Matt's pick for the best funny bacon t-shirt on the web.
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